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Post by Hoosier Hillbilly on Jan 21, 2011 7:37:34 GMT -5
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I recently asked my friends' little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?'
She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.'
Her parents beamed with pride.
'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.'
She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, 'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?'
I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party.'
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Post by Cyberman on Jan 23, 2011 18:19:25 GMT -5
I gotta joke for ya.....
Obama
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Post by Hoosier Hillbilly on Jan 24, 2011 7:02:20 GMT -5
cute
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Post by Hoosier Hillbilly on Jan 24, 2011 9:01:06 GMT -5
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Post by Hoosier Hillbilly on Jan 25, 2011 14:41:57 GMT -5
This one is [shadow=red,left,300] REALLY GOOD![/shadow]  I'm betting nobody yells "You Lie!" at the president tomorrow night. Civility is the word of the day, at least for a little while. Obama, bowing to the new reality of a divided Congress and a weakened Democratic Party, will present a centrist address, and both parties will make a show of togetherness for the cameras. That will all change tomorrow, but for one evening, it will be a pleasant time out from the toxic climate of the last two years. YEW! RIGHT! just what "WE" need, some more "FRAUD", :: deceitfulness !!! Jared, as bad as it was ( and the fact you should be shot:: case closed:  look what you accomplished?? [shadow=red,left,300] it's sad  [/shadow] |
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Post by Hoosier Hillbilly on Jan 27, 2011 7:31:54 GMT -5
I put this here only because it's a cartoon. It's really a sad and pitiful truth!  Everyone has an opinion, here's Eds'; I've always thought the official responses to the State of the Union address kind of silly. Few of the presidential speeches are substantive in any way--usually just generalities restating the philosophy and broad agenda of the president--with few if any specifics. Then the other party states its position, which inevitably (surprise!) is different than the president's. Nobody pays much attention, and everyone goes away believing what they believed before the speeches were made. This year, after a particularly soporific response by this years' new GOP up-and-comer Paul Ryan (who, to his credit, didn't do worse than Bobby Jindal, who set a new mark for lousy speeches last year) we had the added bonus of an unofficial Tea Party response, delivered by Michele Bachmann, perhaps the only woman in politics dumber and more annoying than Sarah Palin. Her speech was feisty, if wholly out of sync with this year's lowered voices in deference to the shootings in Tucson. Next year can we look forward to a third, a fourth, a fifth response? And will anyone be listening? I differ from his opinon; If there were more political discussions on national broadcasts we would be more informed. I always want to hear all sides of the story and then I'll make my own decision. Which will probably differ in many ways from anything I've heard. They are politicians so you must take anything they say with a grain of salt. I personally very much enjoyed Michele's feisty insert. But then I enjoy listening to and looking @ Sarah also. But that's another subject. |
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Post by Hoosier Hillbilly on Jan 27, 2011 13:36:24 GMT -5
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Post by Hoosier Hillbilly on Jan 27, 2011 13:45:38 GMT -5
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Post by Hoosier Hillbilly on Jan 28, 2011 15:02:52 GMT -5
Nice tie!  |
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Post by Hoosier Hillbilly on Jan 29, 2011 18:00:44 GMT -5
||| This is going to tale a 'little' thinking on your part, but it's funnier that hell!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!
BARACK OBAMA: Listen to me, the chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! To be clear, the chicken wanted change! Look, the chicken was ready for a change.
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish it's lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2010, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2010. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
WHAT"D 'i' TELL YA!
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Post by Hoosier Hillbilly on Feb 1, 2011 19:39:15 GMT -5
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Post by Hoosier Hillbilly on Feb 6, 2011 18:22:48 GMT -5
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Post by Hoosier Hillbilly on Feb 7, 2011 10:17:48 GMT -5
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Post by Hoosier Hillbilly on Feb 8, 2011 9:22:27 GMT -5
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Post by Hoosier Hillbilly on Feb 12, 2011 8:22:57 GMT -5
John Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock
(MADE IN JAPAN )
for 6 am.
While his coffeepot
(MADE IN CHINA)
was perking, he shaved with his
electric razor
(MADE IN HONG KONG)
He put on a
dress shirt
(MADE IN SRI LANKA),
designer jeans
(MADE IN SINGAPORE)
and tennis shoes
(MADE IN KOREA)
After cooking his breakfast in his new
electric skillet
(MADE IN INDIA)
he sat down with his
calculator
(MADE IN MEXICO)
to see how much he could spend today. After setting his
watch
(MADE IN TAIWAN )
to the radio
(MADE IN INDIA )
he got in his car
(MADE IN GERMANY )
filled it with GAS
(from Saudi Arabia )
and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB.
At the end of yet another discouraging
and fruitless day
checking his
Computer
(made in MALAYSIA ),
John decided to relax for a while.
He put on his sandals
(MADE IN BRAZIL),
poured himself a glass of wine
(MADE IN FRANCE)
and turned on his
TV
(MADE IN INDONESIA),
and then wondered why he can't
find a good paying job in AMERICA
AND NOW HE'S HOPING HE CAN GET HELP FROM A PRESIDENT
MADE IN KENYA.
_____________________
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look what you accomplished?? [shadow=red,left,300] it's sad 
[/shadow]
