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Post by Hoosier Hillbilly on Feb 13, 2014 12:51:18 GMT -5
A burglar broke into my house the other night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said,'Jesus knows you're here.'
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard 'Jesus is watching you.'
Startled, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on my parrot.
'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.
'Yes', the parrot confessed, then squawked,'I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you.'
The burglar relaxed.'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'
'Moses,' replied the bird.
'Moses?' the burglar laughed.'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'
'The kind of people who would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'
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dent
Full Member
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Posts: 232
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Post by dent on Mar 26, 2014 21:45:39 GMT -5
Seems that the doctor opened up his office in the Land of Oz. His first patient was Tin Man. The Tin Man said,”Doc! I don’t have a heart and I need one.”
The doctor of Oz replied, “It’s off to see the Wizard for you” The next patient was a green frog. The green frog said, “Doc. I’m green all over, but my pecker is yellow. What can I do?” The doctor of Oz replied, “It’s off to see the Wizard for you.” The next patient was a gray elephant. The gray elephant said, “Doc. I’m gray all over, but my pecker is white. What can I do?” The doctor of Oz replied, “It’s off to see the Wizard for you.” The old elephant then said,”But doc, I don’t know how to get to the Wizard.” The doc said, “It’s easy. Just follow the yellow dick toad.”
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