GOD HAS SUCH A SENSE OF HUMOR !
> > A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her small
> > daughter was very sick with a fever.
> > She left work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication.
> > She got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys in the
> > car. She didn't know what to do.
> > She called home and told the baby sitter what had happened.
> > The baby sitter told her that the fever was getting worse. She said: "You
> > might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door."
> > The woman looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger that had been
> > left on the ground, possibly by someone else who at some time had locked
> > their keys in their car.
> > She looked at the hanger and said: "I don't know how to use this."
> > She bowed her head and asked God to send her HELP.
> > Within five minutes a beat up old motorcycle pulled up.
> > A bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head.
> > The woman thought: "This is what you sent to help me?"
> > However, she was desperate.
> > She was also very thankful!
> > The man got off of his cycle and asked if he could help.
> > She said:"Yes, my daughter is very sick. I stopped to get her some
> > medication and I've locked my keys in my car. I must get home to her. Please, can
> > you use this hanger to unlock my car?"
> > He said: "Sure." He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute the
> > car was opened.
> > She hugged the man and through her tears she said: "Thank You SO Much!
> > You are a very nice man."
> > The man replied: "Lady, I am NOT a nice man. I just got out of PRISON
> > yesterday, I was in prison for car theft.
> > The woman hugged the man again and with sobbing tears cried
> > out loud: "Oh, thank you God! You even sent me a Professional!!"
> > Is GOD good or what !!??
> > ____________________
lefunny.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/Frosty-gets-caught-picking-his-nose.jpgTHE ORIGIN OF PROFILING
The day it all started was March 6, 1836. On that fateful day, Davy Crockett woke up and rose from his bunk on the main floor of the Alamo, and walked up to the observation post along the west wall of the fort.
William B. Travis was already there, looking out over the top of the wall. James Bowie was sick in bed, but he was looking out the window. These three great men gazed at the hordes of Mexicans moving towards the Alamo.
With a puzzled look on his face, Crockett turned to Travis and said, "Bill, are we, by any chance, having any landscaping done today?"
A young cowboy from Montana goes off to college.
Half way through the semester, having foolishly
squandered all his money .... he calls home.
"Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern education
is developing! They actually have a program here in Alabama
that will teach our dog, Ole' Blue how to talk!"
"That's amazing," his Dad says. "How do I get Ole' Blue in that program?"
"Just send him down here with $1,000" the young cowboy says
"and I'll get him in the course."
So, his father sends the dog and $1,000.
About two-thirds of the way through the semester,
the money again runs out. The boy calls home.
"So how's Ole' Blue doing son?" his father asks.
"Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you
just won't believe this -- they've had such good results
they have started to teach the animals how to read!"
"Read!?" says his father, "No kidding! How do we get Blue
in that program?"
"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class."
The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem.
At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog
can neither talk, nor read.
So he shoots the dog.
When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father
is all excited.
"Where's Ole' Blue? I just can't wait to see him read
something and talk!"
"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday
morning, just before we left to drive home, Ole' Blue was
in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading
the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does".
"Then Ole' Blue turned to me and asked, so, is your daddy
still messing around with that little redhead who lives
down the street?"
The father went white and exclaimed, "I hope you shot
that lying dog before he talks to your Mother!"
"I sure did, Dad!"
"That's my boy!"
The kid went on to law school, and now serves in
Washington D.C. as a Congressman.
