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Post by LuLu on May 5, 2013 23:38:14 GMT -5
Too Many Kids
One day, 3 men rushed their wives into the Emergency Room for labor.
After a while, the doctor came out and said, "Mr. Smith, Mr. Smith, are you here?"
"Yes doctor, im right here," he said anxiously.
"Great news," explained the doctor, "Twins!"
"Wow, thats great, because I work for the DoubleMint company."
About 5 minuter later, the doctor came out and yelled, "Mr. Jones, Mr. Jones, are you hear?"
"I'm right year Doc," he said.
"Mr. Jones, great news, triplets!"
"Spectacular!" he said. "Because I work for 3M."
A while later, the doctor came out again and said, "Mr. Ford, Mr. Ford, are you here?"
"Right here docta," he said.
"Wonderful news! It's-"
"Wait a minute!" the man said. "I ain't stickin' around for this! I work at the 7-11."
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Post by LuLu on May 6, 2013 23:29:07 GMT -5
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: 'Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: 'The driver just insulted me!' The man says: 'You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.'
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Post by LuLu on May 7, 2013 23:27:19 GMT -5
A woman invited some people to dinner.
At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,
"Would you like to say the blessing?" she said.
"I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.
"Just say what you hear mommy say," the woman answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said,
"Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?".
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Post by LuLu on May 8, 2013 23:25:18 GMT -5
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Post by LuLu on May 9, 2013 23:42:14 GMT -5
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Post by LuLu on May 10, 2013 23:49:51 GMT -5
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Post by LuLu on May 11, 2013 23:31:45 GMT -5
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Post by LuLu on May 12, 2013 22:46:28 GMT -5
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Post by LuLu on May 13, 2013 23:49:29 GMT -5
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Post by LuLu on May 14, 2013 23:38:28 GMT -5
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Post by LuLu on May 16, 2013 0:07:12 GMT -5
Two ministers are discussing their lives in the church, and one of them says, "I never slept with my wife until after we were married. How about you?" the second preacher thinks for a second, scratches his head, and says, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?"
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Post by LuLu on May 16, 2013 23:39:13 GMT -5
Two young boys walk into a pharmacy one day, pick out a box of Tampax and proceed to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asks the older boy, "Son, how old are you?" "Eight," the boy replies. The man continues, "Do you know what these are used for? "Not exactly," the boy says. "But they aren't for me. They're my brother – he's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now he can't do either one."
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Post by LuLu on May 17, 2013 23:36:12 GMT -5
I was talking to a girl in the bar last night, and she said, “If you lost a few pounds, had a shave, and got your haircut, you’d look alright.” I said, “If I did that, I’d be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”
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Post by LuLu on May 17, 2013 23:37:14 GMT -5
I was talking to a girl in the bar last night, and she said, “If you lost a few pounds, had a shave, and got your haircut, you’d look alright.” I said, “If I did that, I’d be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”
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Post by Hoosier Hillbilly on May 18, 2013 7:59:06 GMT -5
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