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Post by LuLu on Apr 21, 2013 0:02:47 GMT -5
The Tatoo
A woman goes into a tattoo parlour and tells the tattoo artist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her right thigh just below her bikini line. She also wants him to put "Happy Thanksgiving" under the turkey.
So the guy does it and it comes out looking really good. The woman then instructs him to put a Santa tattoo with "Merry Christmas" up on her left thigh.
So the guy does it and it comes out looking good, too. As the woman is getting dressed to leave, the tattoo artist asks, "If you don't mind, could you tell me why you had me put such unusual tattoos on your thighs?"
She says "I'm sick and tired of my husband complaining all the time that there's nothing good to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas!"
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Post by LuLu on Apr 22, 2013 0:23:47 GMT -5
Women are like cards
A woman is like a pack of cards ...
... You need a heart to love her
... A diamond to marry her
... A club to smash her head in
... And a spade to bury the xitch
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Post by LuLu on Apr 23, 2013 0:09:16 GMT -5
Dinner Time
Little Johnny comes home from school one day and asks his mother what "shit" meant.
Thinking fast she replied "food on the table".
Next day he comes home and asks his mother what does "son of a itch" mean.
Again, thinking fast again she says "It's a priest".
Next day he comes home a asks what does "fucckin'" mean. She says it means "getting dressed".
That same night a priest was coming over for dinner. Johnny is just finished setting the table when he hears the doorbell ring.
He yells "got it". He opens the door and says "Hey son of a itch, shits on the table and mom and dad are upstairs fucckin'".
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Post by LuLu on Apr 24, 2013 0:37:58 GMT -5
The Blonde Buys a TV
One day, a blonde goes into a store. She gets an item and walks up to the cashier. She says,"I'd like to buy this TV".
He says,"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes".
The next day, she dyes her hair red and goes back in the store, but the same thing happens.
Finally, she shaves her head and goes back in. When she tries to buy it for the third time, the man refuses.
She says, "How the hell do you know I'm blonde?".
He replied, "First of all, that's a microwave."
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Post by LuLu on Apr 24, 2013 23:38:23 GMT -5
Shopping Expedition
A married couple was on holiday in Pakistan they were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop.
From the inside they head a Pakistani accent say, "you foreigners come in. Come in my humble shop." so the married couple walked in.
The Pakistani man said to them, "I have some special sandals I think you'd be interested in. They make you wild at sex like a great dessert camel"
Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man had claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being a sex hero he as.
The husband, "how could sandals make you into a sex freak?"
The Pakistani man replied, why don't you see for yourself?"
Well , the husband after much badgering from his wife, finally conceded to try them on.
As soon as he slipped then onto this feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen in years-- raw sexual power.
In a blink of an eye the husband rushed of too the Pakistani man threw him on the table and started tearing at the guy's pants.
All the time the Pakistani man was screaming, "YOU HAVE THEM ON THE WRONG FEET YOU HAVE THEM ON THE WRONG FEET"
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Post by LuLu on Apr 25, 2013 23:37:30 GMT -5
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Post by LuLu on Apr 27, 2013 0:16:32 GMT -5
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Post by LuLu on Apr 27, 2013 23:53:58 GMT -5
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Post by LuLu on Apr 28, 2013 23:50:31 GMT -5
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Post by LuLu on Apr 29, 2013 23:11:37 GMT -5
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Post by LuLu on Apr 30, 2013 22:54:35 GMT -5
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Post by LuLu on May 1, 2013 23:12:16 GMT -5
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Post by LuLu on May 2, 2013 23:42:34 GMT -5
 Get this hair out of
my eyes! |
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Post by LuLu on May 3, 2013 23:51:56 GMT -5
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Post by LuLu on May 4, 2013 23:13:25 GMT -5
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