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Post by LuLu on Apr 5, 2013 22:43:30 GMT -5
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Post by LuLu on Apr 7, 2013 0:09:51 GMT -5
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Post by LuLu on Apr 8, 2013 1:11:59 GMT -5
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Post by LuLu on Apr 9, 2013 0:54:13 GMT -5
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Post by LuLu on Apr 10, 2013 0:36:53 GMT -5
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Post by LuLu on Apr 12, 2013 0:01:02 GMT -5
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Post by LuLu on Apr 13, 2013 0:12:56 GMT -5
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Post by LuLu on Apr 14, 2013 0:05:10 GMT -5
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Post by LuLu on Apr 14, 2013 23:40:33 GMT -5
Blame The Dog
A guy goes to pick up his date for the evening. She's not ready yet, so he has to sit in the living room with her parents.
He has a bad case of gas and really needs to releive some pressure.
Luckly, the family dog jumps up on the couch next to him. He decides that he can let a little fart out and if anyone notices they will think that the dog did it.
He farts, and the woman yells, "Spot, get down from there."
The guy thinks, "Great, they think the dog did it." He releases another fart, and the woman again yells for the dog to get down.
This goes on for a couple more farts. Finally the woman yells, "Dammit Spot, get down before he shits on you."
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Post by LuLu on Apr 16, 2013 0:29:42 GMT -5
Three Rats
One day these three rats were standing outside of a food store and one of the rats got an idea.
He said "OK this is what we're gonna do, we'll run inside, get as much cheese as we can and we'll meet back here."
So they do it and when they get back the first rat asks the second rat "what kind of cheese did you get?" and he says "American" which makes the rats very pleased as it's one of their favorites.
Then the second rat asks the first rat "what kind of cheese did you get?" and he replies "Cheddar", which again pleases the rats.
So then the first two rats ask the third rat "what kind of cheese did you get?" to which he replies "Nacho Cheese"
"Nacho Cheese" said the other two rats. "There's no such thing as Nacho Cheese".
And the third rat says "Well, as I was running out of the store I head the shopkeeper shouting, Hey, that's not-cho cheese"
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Post by LuLu on Apr 17, 2013 1:51:58 GMT -5
The Pilot and the Priest
A priest dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.
Saint Peter addresses this cool guy, 'Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven ? '
The guy replies, 'I'm Jack, retired airline pilot from Houston.'
Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the pilot, 'Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom.' The pilot goes into Heaven with his robe and staff.
Next, it's the priest's turn. He stands erect and booms out, 'I am Father Bob, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last 43 years.'
Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the priest, 'Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom.
'Just a minute,' says the good father. 'That man was a pilot and he gets a silken robe and golden staff and I get only cotton and wood. How can this be?
'Up here - we go by results,' says Saint Peter. 'When you preached - people slept. When he flew, people prayed.'
I knew you'd like it!
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Post by LuLu on Apr 18, 2013 0:03:59 GMT -5
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Post by LuLu on Apr 19, 2013 0:30:36 GMT -5
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Post by LuLu on Apr 20, 2013 0:15:35 GMT -5
 Ouch!! |
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Post by LuLu on Apr 20, 2013 23:44:10 GMT -5
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